Dining Dynamos Pillows

My name's Troy, and I'll be your serve tonight. My name's Fred and I'll be talking way too loudly about my colon. I'm still learning my name, and I'll be screaming for no good reason.

"Where do we put Desserts?"

Cossack dancers

'Usually when a man promises me a fish dinner, I naturally assume it will be at a nice restaurant.'

"Smoking or nonsmoking?"

"Intern? Oh, no. He wandered in from our day care center."

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

'You're eating too much roughage.'

"I'm taking you off two of the four food groups."

Tour de France champ Fausto Coppi

'Trouble cutting pickled onions.'

"Would you like free or expensive water?"

'We've finished the dishes, Miss. Jenny washes, I wiped, and Susan picked up all the pieces.'

"So I can eat better here at work."

Bebaaaaaaaop! (sheep)

"You know what would compliment this meal? A nice vintage milk of magnesia"

"What's wrong, hon? You haven't touched my food."

"A toothbrush with a DVD player?" "Yeah, now she brushes for half an hour."

"How was the food sir?"

Politically Correct Dictionaries

"My, oh, my! What a fascinating guy you are, Vincent! But now, if it's not too much trouble, I'd like you to take my order."

"Quick! Tiptoe out and phone the Fire Service!"

'After scraping my tongue, flossing my teeth, brushing my teeth, whitening my teeth and gargling, I'm hungry all over again!'

Now that the last child had finally left for college, Dot and Neville went through the usual 'empty nest' grieving process.

Two dancers in bejeweled suits and flat caps

"There, dammit. Is that enough pepper for you??"

'Just give him the tip, Harold.'

"We're all dying to try something that you set on fire at our table."

'I wish I had eaten all that bread.'

'I'm trying to make a point with my husband. The cake is to celebrate the second anniversary of this dress. . .'

I lost 185 pounds on the garlic diet. My husband left me!

Less curds, more whey. Middle-aged Miss Muffet.

'You did ask for the wine steward - now grovel, man, grovel!'

Beanz meanz Repeatz.

'Help me, Mom I need help!'