Dining Disaster Dodger Pillows

Man Gagging In A Restaurant.

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"I hope we can sell everything before it's time for mom to make dinner."

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

'I'm sorry we put bearnaise sauce on your fillet by mistake. Randy will have it off there in a jiffy.'

Man carrying crates of eggs about to step on sleeping dog.

"The scallops were delicious, but the fork was dismal!"

"Just keep your eyes closed - it'll only upset you."

Okay, let me guess...we're eating baked ham and meat loaf on a bed of fish sticks because you combined all the leftovers...

'I mean, how totally lame is this? Just as the marketing for our new video game was about to go viral, the Center for Disease Control shut us down!'

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

"Of course it tastes like chicken. That's why it's called the 'tuna surprise'."

"I hope you like smoked salmon."

'Whew! Looks like the Tuna Surprise isn't much of a hit!'

'Are you sure you are not allergic to seafood.'

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

Chinese restaurant: In case of emergency break glass (Knife and fork).

'You thought having 'flu would get you out of doing the dishes.'

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"No, he isn't choking. He coughed."

"Say when!"

'Andy STILL hasn't got the hang of spaghetti..'

"You should have called earlier."

"Sorry I didn't return your calls of earlier today."

'How was the snapper, sir?'

'Here we put the emphasis exclusively on the food!'

''Honey!...Have you seen the brussel sprout casserole I made for dinner tonight?'

"I'm sorry, the sesame peanut dressing is not agreeing with him."

"It's a tad undercooked."

"How is everything?"

Murphy's Slaw.

"Gesundheit!"