Dining Dilemma Decoders T-Shirts

Waiter, there's a fly on my napkin. Isn't it natural to want to dry off after doing the backstroke in a bowl of soup?

"I hope we can sell everything before it's time for mom to make dinner."

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

'Physical or Social Science?'

"The Bluetooth Special comes with a side order of Wi-Fi."

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

'Our special of the day is spam sandwiches.'

Gone out...here is a computer simulation of your dinner

Internet Restaurant

"And here you have a brown thing next to something greenish, with some sort of brown runny stuff underneath it."

"I am your bot server. Page me by phone and tip me in bitcoins."

"I'm not eating a TV dinner. Now it's called 'Computer Cuisine.'"

All You Can Tweet Restaurant.

'Yes, it is a carrot. You haven't been getting enough fibre.'

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

"I wonder how many Facebook likes I'll get."

"Waiter - there's no fly in my soup!"

Woman finds something in her soup.

Mixed marriage: food fight

"Relax sir, I'm sure chef barely remembers you posting a negative review online."

'What do you sugget for a couple of fuddyduddies who love hot and spicy, but have to eat bland?'

'On the paupiettes de boeuf a la hongroise, which part is the hongroise?'

"I think I'll just leave a hate tip."

'You needn't worry about confidentiality. Your medical records were carefully transferred to computer and accidently trashed.'

'What's this about the food tasting funny?'

'Is this a Greek restaurant?'

'Water? Still? Sparkling? Mountain? Hill? Bottle? Tap? Warm? Cold? Ice? Lemon?'

"You will have to text your order directly to chef. We're not speaking."

"He said his name was Joseph when he told us he'd be our waiter this evening."

Waiter, there's a wireless earbud phone in my soup.

"i'm trying to remember the type of California white wine but I like, but my mind keeps drawing a blanc."

"Yes, I can certainly recommend the lamb - everything else has gone."