Dine-out Devotee Pillows

'You're going to love this. It has no nutritional value at all.'

'Hey! My Chili is Chilly!' 'I'll add some Chilies!'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

Diner

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"Expense account or regular?"

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

'How would you like your toast?'

'...and one 'death by chocolate', Sir.'

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

Emily's Slow Food Restaurant.

"I realize your steak was tough but you didn't have to make such a stink about it."

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

"A votre sante!"

'I asked for a rare steak and you certainly don't see many as BAD as this!'

"And what would you like to regret later?"

'We can't serve you the businessman's lunch because you don't look the business type.'

'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'

"Just a drop."

"Take your time. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."