Dine-out Enthusiast Pillows

'I asked for a rare steak and you certainly don't see many as BAD as this!'

'I told you the waiter would remember you gave him a 2 cent tip the last time.'

"Actually waiter, we asked for garlic bread."

'If you were in a hurry, sir, you shoudn't have ordered the overnight marinade.'

'Lobster £18.30!!!!' 'Bad reaction to seafood.'

'I thought it was my turn to cook, but I didn't make anything because I wanted you to take me out to eat.'

'One of the steaks fell on the floor - to be fair, you'd better toss for them. . .'

'Sorry there's no food. I was kind of hoping you'd bring some.'

"Stephen and I are today's special."

Life is for the birds.

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'A cheeky red?'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

'Who gets the decaf?'

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'