Dine-out Enthusiast Pillows

'I asked for a rare steak and you certainly don't see many as BAD as this!'

'I told you the waiter would remember you gave him a 2 cent tip the last time.'

"Actually waiter, we asked for garlic bread."

'If you were in a hurry, sir, you shoudn't have ordered the overnight marinade.'

'Lobster £18.30!!!!' 'Bad reaction to seafood.'

'I thought it was my turn to cook, but I didn't make anything because I wanted you to take me out to eat.'

'One of the steaks fell on the floor - to be fair, you'd better toss for them. . .'

'Sorry there's no food. I was kind of hoping you'd bring some.'

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Life is for the birds.

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'A cheeky red?'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Periodic table for two. Chez LMN't

'Who gets the decaf?'

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'