Dine And Laugh Club Pillows

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

"Give my compliments to the Biotech industry"

"Did you order the flying jalapeños?"

"What would you recommend pairing with the school of cod fish?"

"Hey! Waiter! This is a dessert wine!"

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

"What fly?"

"We'll get your food going as soon as the exterminators are done in the kitchen."

"Please be advised that our new chef's policy is that you're not allowed to leave until you've finished all the food on your plate."

'Waiter, is it raining?' ] 'Sorry, not my table.'

"They're flipping to see who pays for the meal."

"I'll have the fish chowder, hold the flotsam and jetsam."

"It says. . . 'That wasn't chicken.'"

"Could we have a doggy bag please?"

Today's special - Ox tail soup.

'The house wine sir.'

'I don't eat red meat.' 'This is green.'

'There must be some mistake -- Kings don't pay for things.'

At The Skinny Customer Restaurant

You complimented the chef on his dumplings-now he wishes to return the compliments!

Joe's Bar and Grill and Focus Group.

A waiter says:'You guys know you're supposed to text me when you're ready right?' the patrons are dead . . .

Sound horn for service.

"Who ordered the eviscerated mouse carcass?"

The last word in Alphabet Soup.

Women's Synchronized Peeing

'My name is Angel. No relation to the angel hair pasta.'

(No caption. Signs read the following: Pizza. Pizza By The Slice. Pizza Cut Up Into Tiny Bites.)