Dine And Discover Lover Pillows

Ooze: A Primordial Bar and Grill

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"Oh, how sweet of you."

"Regular service or affected?"

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

Man says: 'Great pizza, but the mozzarella was a bit stringy.'

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"Of course I'm going to give him a tip - he should take lessons!"

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

"I just love candle-lit dinners."

"What do you recommend today?"

Spinach Dating.

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersized in a bucket?"

F&E Diner. You asked for a hot breakfast, so I put some jalapenos on your corn flakes!

"... Wine list? No, we don't have a wine list! Perhaps I can get sir something from the vending machine?"

'What a relief to find out that fewer calories don't add up to longevity.'

'A table for two?'

“Here’s to the 240 bucks we’re paying the sitter.”

'Home-made pie will be quick, I only live 10 minutes from here.'

"Hope I like it? Are you kidding me? Grass is my FAVOURITE!"

"I love you, even though you still use a flip phone."

'Waiter. Tonight, we're pulling out all the stops! Get her the steak special and I'll have the pork chops.'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Cook Book. The cookbooks are just Ernie's way of shifting the blame.

"Out bending spoons at Pop's diner."

It is lonely being an old man - but not being a ...

We're nocturnal. Do you know any nocturnes?

Mom's Diner: "Just like mom used to make."

'Hey!! Put your plate in the dishwasher!'

'I'm not putting it out. There's enough oak in this Chardonnay to keep this fire going all night.'

We don't have poached eggs. How about an elephant tusk?'

'No more wine for me thanks Dan. That first glass went straight to my head.'

Why It's Called a Waffle

"I wrote you a poem about how much I want to sh*g you!"