Dimension Dweller Gifts

Please use other dimension.

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

In case of emergency, break glass.

"Because webmasters don't take out the trash, that's why"

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

Spooning

''Surprise' starts with an 'S', Wilkins! You're in the wrong drawer again!'

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

Businessman at a bar mad to look like desk. Bartender says: 'The usual, Mr. B?'

'I've noticed that no matter how busy you are, you are never too busy to stop an talk about how busy you are.'

'Bring me the Wimbish report and a short worm, Ms Perkins, no time for lunch today.'

The weightless office.

'I'd like to come home... if I could.'

"Trust me. It's no big deal. I'm even tuning you out right now."

Full work boxes: 'IN and MORE IN'.

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

Student Food Pyramid

"Remember, son, no matter what happens to you, we intend to always keep your room at home exactly as it is right now...empty."

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

Al, The Go-From Guy

'It's kinda like an office with a window. The guy in the next cubicle put his fist through the wall.'

"Can you at least pretend to try and hold the elevator so I won't mull over and over how you didn't hold the elevator."

"OMG! A portal to another panel."

Rogue Traders from Parallel Universes.

"That's our copy cat."

Biting Slippers.

Room-mate Homicides Waiting to Happen. . .

"Experience is the wonderful knowledge that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again."

"Wait a minute. Where am I going? I'm a writer."

"Have you noticed Carl never leaves the field to go to the bathroom?"

'We've passed into the fourth dimension, professor! And look, old socks as far as the eye can see!'