Digital Television Experimenter T-Shirts

'Frankly I'd expected rather more from interactive television.'

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

Jazz is Invented

'I think the new V. P. of Global Development is here.'

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

Computer Expert

Where was I?

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

"We tried 'Baby Mozart,' but he prefers 'Baby John Cage.'"

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

Terry had a computer bug.

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"Careful! He knows computers."

"Looks like Brandon got caught with his hand in the password jar."

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

Clickbait

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"Well, he looks alive as of 10 minutes ago, but the stream is frozen."

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'If I've learned anything, it's believe half of what's in the newspapers, and even less of what's in your e-mail.'

'An application won't be necessary, Sir. . . if you did it, we know about it.'

"Prove you're not a human Select the squares with a bike Skip"

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides stimulated hand-holding when the market is down.'

"The trouble is, professor, you see the Erlenmeyer flask half empty and I see it half full."

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

'I'm sorry, Jason. I don't date anyone new until I've googled them.'

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."