Digital Television Experimenter T-Shirts

'Frankly I'd expected rather more from interactive television.'

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

'I think the new V. P. of Global Development is here.'

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

Jazz is Invented

Computer Expert

Where was I?

Terry had a computer bug.

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

"We tried 'Baby Mozart,' but he prefers 'Baby John Cage.'"

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

"Careful! He knows computers."

"Looks like Brandon got caught with his hand in the password jar."

Clickbait

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

"Well, he looks alive as of 10 minutes ago, but the stream is frozen."

'If I've learned anything, it's believe half of what's in the newspapers, and even less of what's in your e-mail.'

"Prove you're not a human Select the squares with a bike Skip"

'An application won't be necessary, Sir. . . if you did it, we know about it.'

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides stimulated hand-holding when the market is down.'

"The trouble is, professor, you see the Erlenmeyer flask half empty and I see it half full."

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."

Computer Crimes