Digital Shrugger Pillows

"Your dad doesn't want to see or hear any comments on his social media page. Please explain to him how to turn them off."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"It's OK to close tabs. Just click on it. Once you realize that you don't need that many open, it'll get easier. You can do this!"

Cellphone Islands

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

'I tried to warn him - garbage in, garbage out.'

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

It's Your Turn to Do the Dishes Tonight!

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Streaming"

'I love to see you all so busy!'

"Error 404: Brain not found"

'I delete so much junk mail, my trash can icon turned into a dumpster.'

"I need to buy a faster fastball."

"Yeah, I keep a clean desk. Now all the mess is in the computer!"

'It's too late! Bob's brain has been sucked out by the internet!'

"I hate people using the cloud."

'It's the only way to keep him from spending all day online.'

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

"He spends 24/7 behind that computer of his. I guess he lives in a fishbowl, too."

"I'm kind of a big deal in antisocial media."

"Siri, are you out of your mind?!"

'No, Billy, their first baseman is messing with your head. You won't go to hell for stealing second.'

"It's amazing. Nobody's changed."

"Ain't nobody gonna end a meeting faster than me."

'I thought you invited me to play T-ball!'

'Yes, I'm gaining weight! Deleting spam all morning makes me really hungry for lunch!'

'Play your best. There's going to be a scout for the ten year olds in the stands!'

"Good lord! Four of my dearest Facebook friends died last week!"

"Hold on, I have an announcement. Facebook password Missywillow 555, please move your car or it will be towed."

E-mail

Trying to come up with yet another password...