Digital Safety Pillows

Cyb-R Safe: Offering the most convincing illusion of on-line security available today!

Pomeroy is terrified somebody will break into his files. A real case of "hackrophobia"!

"Hey there, kid! Have you ever considered white nationalism?"

'Whenever I get on the Information Superhighway, somebody FLASHES me.'

Trolling on social media

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

'I think the new V. P. of Global Development is here.'

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

Computer Expert

Where was I?

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

"No, Mother, I don't think Julian Assange is going to leak your recipe for fruitcake."

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

Terry had a computer bug.

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"Careful! He knows computers."

"Looks like Brandon got caught with his hand in the password jar."

Clickbait

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'Who said romance is dead? I just downloaded a screensaver with red roses and chocolates for your PC!'

'If I've learned anything, it's believe half of what's in the newspapers, and even less of what's in your e-mail.'

"I've got a better view on my smart phone."

'An application won't be necessary, Sir. . . if you did it, we know about it.'