
@sexygirl4u and I had a falling out last night. I hit "like" on a revealing photo she'd posted. But then I worried that was too forward of me. So I hit "like" on all 89 of her less suggestive photos so she wouldn
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@sexygirl4u and I had a falling out last night. I hit "like" on a revealing photo she'd posted. But then I worried that was too forward of me. So I hit "like" on all 89 of her less suggestive photos so she wouldn
In the Guru District
'Now what brings you lovely people here?'
"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."
"We'll always have couples therapy."
"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."
Couples' therapy
I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!
"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."
'Great Therapy!'
"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."
"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"
"Yeah. But he's a handful."
"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"
"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."
"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"
"Of course I won't forget to tell you when quarantine's over!"
"There's something I have to tell you."
"It says here that if you read stuff on an electronic device you can miss the big picture."
"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"
Yeah, you're right. She's playing hard-to-get.
"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."
"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."
'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'
"When we first started seeing each other, we would always use the same word for snow."
"If I ever start turning into my father do me a favor and don't turn into my mother."
"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."
Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.
"Honey, this is serious, we need to text."
Can we talk about our attorney-client relationship?
'When I said I would move mountains for you, it was just a figure of speech!'
'I like a woman who's open and friendly, as long as she's only that way with me.'
'I was dumped by my girlfriend.'
"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."
"I suppose we should start with listening skills!"
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