Online Relationship Navigator Mugs

The EU Is To Blame For Everything

In the Guru District

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Couples' therapy

'Great Therapy!'

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

"Of course I won't forget to tell you when quarantine's over!"

"There's something I have to tell you."

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

"If I ever start turning into my father do me a favor and don't turn into my mother."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"

Yeah, you're right. She's playing hard-to-get.

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"When we first started seeing each other, we would always use the same word for snow."

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.

"Honey, this is serious, we need to text."

Can we talk about our attorney-client relationship?

'When I said I would move mountains for you, it was just a figure of speech!'

'I like a woman who's open and friendly, as long as she's only that way with me.'

'I was dumped by my girlfriend.'

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"I suppose we should start with listening skills!"