Digital Health Detective Pillows

'I love this RX site - I can look up prices for all of my unaffordable medicine around town!'

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

'I think the new V. P. of Global Development is here.'

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

Computer Expert

Where was I?

Terry had a computer bug.

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

"Looks like Brandon got caught with his hand in the password jar."

"Careful! He knows computers."

Clickbait

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

'We don't have a cure for your ailment but there is an appropriate app available.'

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'If I've learned anything, it's believe half of what's in the newspapers, and even less of what's in your e-mail.'

"Prove you're not a human Select the squares with a bike Skip"

'An application won't be necessary, Sir. . . if you did it, we know about it.'

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."

Science and Coronavirus

Feel alienated by technology? Tell me more. Press 1 for yes, 2 for no.

Computer Crimes