Digital Cynics Gifts

I dunno - I don't really trust technology. Click here.

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

Rare Books

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

Library door sign says, 'We have encyclopedias ... the original Facebook!'

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

'Read ALL about IT! While we're STILL in Circulation!'

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

The other digital divide.

The anti-social network: 'Hey Jeffrey...I need help setting up my dad's anti-social network.'

"Dear, if the news stresses you out so much, turn it off!"

The benefit of an old-fashioned newspaper.

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

Unsocial Networking.

Social media and privacy

"If you are a Pulitzer-prize winner, press 1. All others, please press 2."

"If we're doing such a good job of keeping the devil away, how come we have so many of these infernal machines around here?"

'This app that recommends what I read next works, but it's insulting. It referred me to a gas station restroom wall.'

'That's funny - the computer said we had mail..'

"Just saying, if you can't trust your software upgrades, what can you trust?"

"Well, if you can't trust software upgrades, who can you trust?"

The first accurate poll.

iPhone: Leading Our Grand March Into Mass Mediocrity

"Trust your instinct son, not the rubbish spewed on Social Media..."

Don't worry, Bob. There are some jobs a robot just can't do...like kissing ass.

Unsocial Media

'Miss Wayson, find out who put this computer on my desk and tell them to get it the hell out of here!'

'It's like home from home, really-rubbish telly, lousy grub..'

"Jeez, dad. Your computer is so old it came with a flag to put up when you want to send an email."

"So much for the news, now for the corrections."

Warning! The next programme contains no celebrities.

No Connection.