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This Virtual Campaign Is Even Less Exciting Than the Usual Virtual Campaign

"Good boy."

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

'If only every year was an election year.'

Graduates on their phones

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

'Don't bite. They're trolling again.'

"That's the trouble with cute kittens - they attract a lot of traffic."

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

Sale. To do this job you just need to follow the old adage and "dance like nobody's watching"!

The following is a paid political announcement.

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

'The candidates campaign promises have been re-named campaign ideas to avoid lawsuits.'

With no clear winner, the debate ended in a tie breaker.

"We're looking for the kind of bad taste that will grab - but not appall."

Advertising on the internet.

Debating Society. I can accept that money is speech as long as we can agree that some spending is like yelling fire in a theater.

"With great power comes great reward."

Patrick Hendy Rodham Clinton

'Looks like another bad PR week for the company. The whole media team got burned in our last email blast."

"Ever wonder where all those cat videos come from?"

London Olympics.

Political Debate, 'I'd like a word with the debate chairman.'

"You're all hashtag summarily dismissed."

"If talk is cheap, why do candidates need super PACs to finance elections?"

vote

Trump promises versus reality.

"Rudy, did you realize it's illegal for a boss to tell his minion how to vote?...And that therefore, I would never tell you to vote for my friend Patsy Marionette, for city council?"

Tony Blair

Cherchez la femme

The Wall St. 'fat cats' are going to pay for this mess. And that payment will come in the form of a contribution to my re-election campaign.

'Wow. The anti-smoking movement really has been successful.'

'Remember when the worry was over little swift boat attacks?'

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."