Ad Campaign Enthusiast T-Shirts

Advertising campaign before product development

"At this point, the product smiles and says, 'Good day, Mr. Froggie'."

Why have you decided to target the over fifties?

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

Create some buzz!

Creative department

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

Important Food Groups

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

"Hire me and I'll bring in orders. Big orders. You're gonna need a bigger door."

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

The following is a paid political announcement.

Gerald Ratner's return

Eat Beef

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

Advertising on the internet.

Honesty in retail

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

Gullib-Os

Advertising and PR Agency: 'I'm able to spin at 60 words per minute, hype at 50 words and distort at 45 words.'

Opp'y of a Lifetime

"Here's the marketing department's solution."

'We're losing the mid-morning market. Let's put a hamburger in a glazed donut and call it brunch.'

'With 5% spent on talent, 5% on production, and 90% on marketing...I smell WINNER!'