Digital Battler Pillows

"Can you give me about 5 minutes? I'm about to beat this level!"

Milton applies for a job as a video game tester.

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

"Careful Hank, this one still has some fight in him."

Bad times to sneeze

"It makes sense when you see the second painting with the lego."

fish in a bottle...

'Word has it that you have an ulcer, Tomkins. Nice going! You'll find an extra 20 bucks in your paycheck.'

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

The Screeeen!

'I can't get the hang of this cloud computing...'

'I don't surf the net, I just kind of dog-paddle through it.'

Cat wakes up owner demanding to be fed.

Man is attacked by barcodes.

"For all the years I've worked here you've had it in for me...so will you get off my case."

'Enforcing the publish or perish rule, Dean McWit?'

'I was aiming at mama but she ducked faster than you.'

conversing using table tennis technology

'He's at the 'awkward stage' in converting to paperless so he carries both a laptop and a briefcase.'

"I'm sorry-this is literally my first rodeo."

"I'm scanning these old photos we're afraid of losing into my computer so I can lose them there."

"Dad, let's play hide and go seek. I'll hide your data, and you seek it. And when you can't find it, you pay me to return it."

Hell for cashiers.

Toy soldiers - War on drugs, War on binge drinking, Combat obesity, etc.

"It's that sense of dread again, about the state of my inbox."

Builder adjusting a wall.

'She's system two and this is the new beta release.'

"Messing around with out bonuses is outrageous, I've a good mind to bugger off abroad and screw up someone else's economy."

'I'm going to have to rethink that 'knowledge is power' theory.'

The planned obsolescence blues

Internot - No broadband in your area.

Getting in shape (or not)

I accidently deleted my hard drive, but it's okay. All the important stuff is on the refrigerator anyway.

'Ms Button, do some research and find out why my bonus isn't as big as Clydesdale's...'