Digital Age Skeptic Pillows

Books On Paper

"Just go ahead and enter your email for us."

I don't think I'm ready yet for the information age.

Your new super-cool best friend, the algorithm!

'You have to learn arithmetic in case your computer crashes.'

"I just wanted to be removed from the mailing list."

'I don't have my homework because my dial-up modem couldn't connect with my on-line homework helper.'

The anti-social network: 'Daddy's on the phone...he wants to know if you'd like to be the chosen one.'

Don't text and drive!

'Boy, they sure don't make teaching software the way they used to!'

"Ugh! I'm always in a dead zone."

"My email is down... talk to me."

Online form - Submit.

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

Rare Books

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

"Did you get my tweet?"

'Can I download that as a PDF?'

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

'Don't worry about the thumb sucking...she'll be texting with it soon enough.'

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

'We're beta testing Goo-Goo Glass.'

'Remember when we used desktop computers? When everyone at least 'looked' busy?'

'Read ALL about IT! While we're STILL in Circulation!'

The other digital divide.

'Another big newspaper just went out of business.', 'How did you hear about that?', 'I read it on the internet.'

The benefit of an old-fashioned newspaper.

"All the better to ignore you with."

"Buy my data $20"

"Did you get that text I sent asking you to turn around?"

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

"What, again? You've gotta be kidding me!"