Digital Age Humor Seeker Pillows

Fairy tales reimagined for the 21st century. Jack and the Beanstalk

I'll admit, yesterday I was off my game. I made a rookie mistake and you bested me, nemesis. But I'll take comfort in the fact that the internet has ruined your ability to convert short-term memories into long-term ones. You won't recall minute details of your day ... all you'll remember are the parts that stick out most, such as me yelling ... ... YOU'RE SUCH A LOSER! Joke's on you, I won't even remember that.

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

Barcode Dreams

'My dog ate my computer.'

Standard Life Aberdeen Rebrand

Bill was so determined to Twitter no one dared tell him he couldn't do it with a calculator.

'Look dear, he's burning his first illegal download to rewritable dvd'

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

"I'm just gonna reach in my back pocket real slow-like and turn off my ringer."

"The x-rays came back, and — I'm sorry, but we found a very large attachment."

"Our website design could be described as "organic"... in the sense that people often compare it to poop."

Ultra Sound/Downloading.

Goodnight Social Media.

Google signwriter.

That's nothing. You should see what he writes in the comments section.

"He's just discovered that out 450,000 blog rebuttal campaign was directed against a 12 year old in Swindon using his mums computer."

'I was texting when my pop spilled on my laptop, which made me drop my iPod. So you see, officer, it wasn't my fault. Blame technology.'

'You post intimate details on Facebook, you want to be followed on Twitter, you send out dozens of selfies a day, yet you're paranoid about your computer's camera?'

"I was hoping her first sentence would be, 'I love you, mommy.' Not, 'what's the Wi-Fi password?'"

People who enjoyed this busker also liked: Joe. 7th and Miller. Sandy. DuPont and Reed. Carl. 39th and 2nd. Thank you.

"I had a lot more freedom before mom got the drone."

"Lemonade App: $1"

"I think we're named after computer passwords."

"My daughter is a modern baby. She doesn't cry when she is hungry...she texts me."

"Bad news Dad, I've just received an e-Alert: The farmer's wife has downloaded a "Coq au Vin" recipe..."

'This pacifier looks like a cell phone to make the inevitable transition that much easier.'

'He's been a lot better behaved since getting that laptop.'

"Mum, Dad, where was I downloaded from?"

"Psst! Strongest hashtags in town, pal."

'Our research shows that downloading happy songs prolongs computer life by 20.'

"They misspelled your avatar."

'I often commit the sin of pride, Reverend. I imagine myself being googled.'