Dieting Duo Pillows

'To make matter worse, our combined weight is higher than our credit score.'

'We're both on diets. I'm dieting to lose the weight I put on this Christmas, and Donald's trying to lose the weight he gained over the Christmas period of 1998 to 2005.'

"A little more...there! I lost five pounds!"

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

Valleyview diet clinic

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'Diet considerations.'

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

"Don't bother gathering carbs for me, I'm on the Paleo diet."

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

Fat man on scales.

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

"Here's your dessert. A guilt counselor iss standing by to help you once you calculate how many calories you've consumed."

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread!', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff.'

"I diet religiously. I eat what I want and pray I don't gain weight."

"I can't have anything that's a food."

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

"You were right-we should have just split one."