Dietary Gurus T-Shirts

Caution - hazardous waist.

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

Counting ribs

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'This is the fun part...waiting to find out just what we've ordered.

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

The new diet not working out too good, huh, Frank?

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"How's the salmon?"

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

60 minute wait for a table, 15 minute wait for a server, 40 minutes for teh appetizers...

"I'm unable to process this image."

"Carpe pizza"

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

Happy hour.

In-House Entertainment Consists Of Man Riding Pizza Cutter Cutting Giant Pizza While Making a Pizza

"I put an app on your phone that punches you in the face every time you eat junk food. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind."

'Maybe we shouldn't show how sausage and foie gras are made on the same day.'

'Extinct? Good heavens no. I'm vegan for God's sake.'

'You go ahead and eat. I'm on a raw food diet and surfer isn't part of it.'

'Go on - they're organic!'

"I want to set the world record for eating the most empanadas ever!"

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'Are you sure you don't have any Indian blood?.'