Diet Drama Enthusiast Pillows

'It's just so like you not to notice. For your information, I've been gluten-free for the past 24 minutes.'

'Quit chewing tobacco? But that's the only source of fiber I get.'

Woman on scales.

'Oh, stop complaining. The diet is working, isn't it?'

"I've been on the hip and thigh diet."

'It was his own fault for going on about my diet!'

Shame on You.

'That's not funny. Howard...get your foot off the scale!'

"Mr Webster, I'm prescribing you diet pills ...and a fork lift."

'I'm sorry, sir. You've had enough.'

'You've been on a diet and lost six kilos...Well I think I have found them!'

"But how do we know for sure the scale is accurate?"

"I don't care how many sets of bathroom scales I've returned to you. This one's defective too!"

You are what you eat (Nuts).

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

Woman on diet being chased by temptation.

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

'You're eating all the wrong food.'

'No more beans this week, I think, Matilda.'

"This can't be right. I was supposed to lose 20 lbs before my next annual exam - maybe I should postpone my appointment for ... another year."

Sick Of A Low-Carb Diet

'Still antsy about the new diet I put you on?'

'A table near the food, please.'

How to keep your man healthy: 'No sex 'til you eat your vegetables!'

'Of course on this new diet, I only count the calories of the food I eat whilst other people are in the room.'

Excess Baggage: If calories consumed on vacation don't count, then little creatures must sneak into your room at night to shrink your clothes.

'Of course I'm on a strict diet, doc! I eat vegetarian animals only!'

"I'm on the whisky diet - I've lost 3 days already..."

"It looks like there is too much dairy in your diet."

"Can you get on the scale please? I'm on a diet and need to monitor my food intake..."

'I was doing REALLY well, and then I sleepwalked last night and at a 20-pound bag of potatoes!'

'Not that we don't appreciate the popcorn, but how about something low-carb next time?'

'Still at a plateau, Mrs Johnson?'

'Can you send this back to the kitchen. It's cold.'

"...and I want you to limit yourself to 3 feeding frenzies a day."