Diet Debate Champ T-Shirts

'I want to lose weight, Doctor.' - 'Eat less, then.' - 'I need it to be more complicated than that.' - 'Why?' - 'How can I justify failing if it's that simple, eh?!' - 'Gah. He's breaking me...' -

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

"That's it - your diet starts tomorrow"

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

'The doctor told me to introduce more greens in my diet.'

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'School of nutrition - as of today: Butter, good...'

Adam and Eve - Food scares

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

"Yes, I know that chocolate comes from the cocoa Bean...but that does NOT count as a vegetable!"

Complex Carbs

Chocolate Munchies. Only 100 calories...' awesome!' - '' - 'Runchy! Rurrgh!!' - '' - 'Oh, hold on. 100 calories per Munchie' - '' -

"Steak for breakfast, steak for lunch, steak for dinner. . . you can't stop evolution!"

"I just want to know if I'm healthy enough for bacon?"

"What do you have that justifies its calories?"

"Never eat anything you can't lift over your head."

'I wouldn't call myself a vegetarian, but I don't eat dead animals either.'

The Last Dinner

'The vegetarians are the smug-looking ones...'

'I have a hard time believing that fast food causes obesity.'

The cake diet.

"Were you genuinely interested in where I get my protein, or was it the introductory question to a long and pointless attack on my personal dietary choices?"

"It has a cream base because we hate you."

"Lookin' good, Frosty!"

'I know it's my third doughnut, but it's okay. I'm using the Pilates method of dunking.'

"We're wolves, Jessica. We eat veal."

"Moving to a chair to eat three times a day really isn't 'doing sit-ups!'"

The Atkins Diet.

'You need a more balanced diet.'

"I'm the 'Before' in diet ads."

'You were right, doc. Blood is thicker than water.'