Diet Critics T-Shirts

"Does it strike you as odd that there's a diet for a job in which you're weightless most of the time?"

21st Century Nursery Rhymes Redux. Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet Eating her whey and curd. Along came a spider Who began to chide her For a diet he deemed absurd. Let me eat what I want. Your carb/fiber balance is way off. You need more protein. And flies. It's your life, but I'd see a nutritionist.

Looking at film poster for film about pig - "That reminds me how's your diet coming along?"

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

"That's it - your diet starts tomorrow"

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

'School of nutrition - as of today: Butter, good...'

Sawdust.

'The Werewolf Diet? It's great: you can eat anything you want, but only during the full moon.'

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff,'

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

"Yes, I know that chocolate comes from the cocoa Bean...but that does NOT count as a vegetable!"

Error in low-fat pizza design.

'What kind of quack is he? No pills, no special diets! He just believes in will power!'

"Stuffing your face while watching TV does cause obesity."

Complex Carbs

"Steak for breakfast, steak for lunch, steak for dinner. . . you can't stop evolution!"

Toilet roll beauty tips.

Lite Beer.

'Let me introduce my biggest supporter, a real whale of a guy, a huge fan..'

"I can guarantee on this diet you'll lose at least 50 pounds a month, until you cancel your standing order!"

'What a relief to find out that fewer calories don't add up to longevity.'

"Turns out it was all water weight."

Cook for 3 minutes stir, wait 30 years to discover if the contaminated ingredient gives you stomach cancer.

'She was always very proud of her figure.'

'My regular slimming magazine seems to be getting thinner.'

'Calorie averaging...with the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get...one French fry.'

Fat angel eating halo like doughnut