Diet Conscious Animal Fan Pillows

'I'm really sorry about this, but I'm trying to watch my cholesterol.'

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

Head over Hooves

All Natural Nothing

Wolf Karaoke

Three lanes of traffic with the first two lanes crowded with turtles. The third lane (to the left) a couple rabbits speeding along without any traffic. An easy pass sign has carrots replacing dollars.

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'I've found a way to improve on light beer!'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

Bessy had won the 100m sprint... but many suspected Steeroid abuse!

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

"I'm a monster."

"Stop squawking. Use your words."

'This is a real barnburner.'

"Okay, ha ha, now seriously...Where's the rest of the nuts?"

'Rob is a vegan.'

"I think they may have rumbled me, Sarge."

"I'm your Furry Godmother."

"Have you mistakenly put dog food in the bird feeder?"

Happy birthday Darling!

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

'You look quite distinguished with that gray hare on your head, Jim!'

I can't decide what to read, Gourmet or Weight Watchers.

Boarway Show

Good cholesterol cop, bad cholesterol cop. Rice cake? Eat the donut punk.