Diener Pillows

"Oops, Sorry – this is the sock & underwear drawer."

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

Countervailing Clichés.

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

'How is the water prepared?'

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

'Can I have flies with that'

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

"You can't blow out the candles. You're rolled."

You're pig-headed, Louis, I like that in a man.

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

'They're not mints - they're antacid tablets.'

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

'Your tea is getting cold.'

I cannot tell you why men will not ask for directions

Big Boy Foot

'Ralph, I'm gonna' need wings on the fly!'

"I see you attending a family reunion, where things get quite heated."

'You made me jump,'

Diner. Breakfast Specials. I'm a type "C" personality. Until I have my morning coffee I have no personality at all.

Crystal Ball Plug

Chicken Coupe.

I like the look of the sherry trifle!

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

Cafe offers corn several ways.

'All right, I agree with you.'

'Help! -- I ate too much and I can't get up!'

"Now...this piece of paper will reveal even more."

"Just iced tea, please. Hot coffee goes right through me."