Dictionary Buff Pillows

OBSOLETE: Any state of the art vehicle you bought last week for mega bucks.

A Major Refresher Course is in Order.

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

Cat Burglar

Wordplay: In The Bag.

Doggone

'It's the first animal in their dictionary, Inter-Planetary Publishing Protocol is to always list the most intelligent lifeform first...'

Roget's Pet

In an unprecedented occurrence, Noah Webster fails his vocabulary test.

"Greetings, Earthling. How are the schools?"

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

A school of fish.

A new schoolmaster testing students on geography

'He's majoring in cave hydrology with, obviously, the ultimate aim of being a caveman like his Dad.'

'Enlightenment-shmenlightenment - what I'm worried about is tenure!'

'How could it have been rough for you back in Pharmacy school, Dad? You only had penicillin and aspirin.'

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

The Nanuit Have 2,027 Words For Snow, But, After Awhile, They Just Talk About Something Else...

"Dad, is there a word that contains all the vowels?"

"I’ll do the talking. I’m fluent in deer."

'You use Romance Languages when wooing your beloved and Hate Languages during the prenup process.'

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

'I don't know the story of the two eggs.'

'He was very big in Vienna.'

No New Grammer Schools

Holy Mackerel

'Yes, sure, certainly, you bet, of course, yeah, right, yep....'

"Spring Chicken"

"Stand aside - I'm a doctor of letters, not numbers, but I'll do what I can!"

This is probably the only time that Clem's name and the title 'Ph.D' will be used in the same sentence.