Dictator Jokes Fan Pillows

Chicken soup for the total despot.

'Washington has wooden teeth? -- how did you find that out?', 'It came out in conversation.'

"I want a large pepperoni, pronto! And don't be stingy with the cheese. No anchovies! If I find one anchovy, I'll have your head on a pole. . ."

Ghaddafi by Psychiatrist

'Well - the layman's terminology for your condition is 'nutty as an acorn''

Old dictator Lukashenko

A young George Washington has his fortune told.

Donald Trump Christmas card

'Hi Bob, we're playing hairdresser: Want to join in?'

"Just getting to the bottom of Obama wiretapping me...why?"

'Aah! I've caught you Dobson - making love to my wife during working hours!'

Franklin Pierce

2019 Debate: "I'd like to begin by calling my opponent a babbling idiot!"

'No oil, no whales, no help.'

Ear, Nose and Throat doctor baffled by knife wound.

King Donald

Kim Jong Il

'Do you know what you call a cat that swallowed a duck?'

"The problem with the city is that I have to be constantly checking for overhead powerlines..."

Evil Andrew Jackson + Stupid Gerald Ford = A Very Stable Genius

"Not to brag, but I once blew a vaping cloud so big the Met Office gave it a name."

'I didn't invent fire, but I like to think I've perfected playing with it.'

"Oh no. . . I forgot my mask!!!"

Firing your advisors

"I get this creepy feeling that on one's watching me."

Millard Fillmore

"Okay, so we'll stop calling them delusions of grandeur now that you've been appointed supreme leader for life."

'I want everybody to say 'Ping' when they meet each other.'

John Tyler

Miss Me Yet?

"So come on then, why does everyone call you Lofty?"

'It's a look back over his Korea.'

Sally Fairfax, who rejected George Washington's marriage proposal: 'I could have married the father of our country, you know!'

"We think you may have something that belongs to us."