Dictator Jokes Fan Prints

Chicken soup for the total despot.

'Washington has wooden teeth? -- how did you find that out?', 'It came out in conversation.'

Why don't we just talk first before we resort to that.

Trump Chia Pet

"I want a large pepperoni, pronto! And don't be stingy with the cheese. No anchovies! If I find one anchovy, I'll have your head on a pole. . ."

Old dictator Lukashenko

Ghaddafi by Psychiatrist

'Well - the layman's terminology for your condition is 'nutty as an acorn''

A young George Washington has his fortune told.

2019 Debate: "I'd like to begin by calling my opponent a babbling idiot!"

'Hi Bob, we're playing hairdresser: Want to join in?'

"Just getting to the bottom of Obama wiretapping me...why?"

Franklin Pierce

'Aah! I've caught you Dobson - making love to my wife during working hours!'

Donald Trump Christmas card

'No oil, no whales, no help.'

Kim Jong Il

King Donald

Ear, Nose and Throat doctor baffled by knife wound.

'Do you know what you call a cat that swallowed a duck?'

"The problem with the city is that I have to be constantly checking for overhead powerlines..."

Evil Andrew Jackson + Stupid Gerald Ford = A Very Stable Genius

"Not to brag, but I once blew a vaping cloud so big the Met Office gave it a name."

'I didn't invent fire, but I like to think I've perfected playing with it.'

"Oh no. . . I forgot my mask!!!"

Miss Me Yet?

Firing your advisors

"Okay, so we'll stop calling them delusions of grandeur now that you've been appointed supreme leader for life."

'I want everybody to say 'Ping' when they meet each other.'

Millard Fillmore

John Tyler

"I get this creepy feeling that on one's watching me."

"So come on then, why does everyone call you Lofty?"

'It's a look back over his Korea.'

Sally Fairfax, who rejected George Washington's marriage proposal: 'I could have married the father of our country, you know!'