Dice Wizard T-Shirts

Game night, and Denise improves her chances of good rolls by warming her dice...

"Have you been playing dice?"

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

Essex computer.

"You're right. I have to come up with a brake of some kind."

Witch dice.

'Frank has won 20 hands in a row. I'm beginning to think that's not him, but rather a robot with a poker computer installed.'

Beware of stimulus plans.

"Sometimes we all feel like we've been tossed. You just have to roll with it."

Barry gradually realised that buying a small car had its disadvantages

Psychic car mechanics.

Dog fetches dice

WHOA! Another 6! Erm...what's that mean?

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

'So Roger, how's your invention going?'

"It's baaaack!"

"I figure the odds of you being the smartest girl in the class for three years in a row are practically zero."

"It's a nice invention, but what about GRIDLOCK?"

Monolithopoly.

MD to patient: 'So, it's a little fuzzy and you're seeing spots?'

"Snake eyes again!"

Useless car accessories.

Welcome to Las Vegas - Forefront of the great American luck ethic.

I love Pottery.

"Ken does know that isn't real money, right?"

Uses for the wheel (hula hoop).

'The best part is the roadkill!'

No, I'm not a gambler at all. I just blow on these and they keep serving me drinks.

'I came for the $1.99 seafood buffet--I'm staying for the restrooms.'

Dice Cubes

"Kazakov is employing the rare 'Mr. Castle and Horsey go on an adventure' defense."

"All six suppliers are complaining that you are not taking this selection process seriously!"

'Our new client wants to invest in high risk stocks, book my usual seat at the craps table.'