Diary Dominator Pillows

'Make me a bunch of appointments that I won't be able to keep.'

"Are all Brits bisexual, or just the ones who publish their diaries?"

A woman wearing a skin sitting behind a desk with a nameplate that reads "Sheena, Queen of the corporate jungle."

Why do you need so many computers?

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

"I think I'll keep a diary..."

'I have created the first interactive pile of paperwork.'

"Sure I can make that deadline."

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

The Blob's Blog.

"This universal remote is awesome. It controls the tv, cable, stereo, computer, garage door. . ."

"Dear diary...Well at least I'm not having to watch the Oscars."

"Dear Diary: Today I picked a peck of pickled peppers."

Records?

"We need a better piling system."

In and Out Trays

"Is there any way we can skip right to adulthood and start being in charge?"

"I don't know which needs charged more, him or all the devices he was on all summer."

Dear Diary

"I haven't had smouldering, passionate sex for a while....could you put it in the diary for next week!"

'I can dream, can't I?'

"Dear Diary: So I texted Julie..."

"I will be reading a prepared statement, but I don't know who prepared it, so don't blame me!"

'I'm involved in lots of office politics. Do you have this in Kevlar?'

'I've only just learned to read, and I'm already on page twelve of my sister's diary.'

"He who controls the Internet controls the world."

Dear Diary...Resolutions

"What's wrong with my filing system?"

A baker with HUMONGOUS hands kneading dough has a tattoo, 'Born to Bake.'

Anais Nin.

"She wrote a diary, not a blog."

"Dear diary, what the heck did you do with my car keys?!"

'No, the Patriot Act doesn't make it all right for you to read your sister's diary!'

"Yes, I'm really enjoying it here since my promotion, Joe, and by the way you're fired."

Dear Diary. . . New Year's Resolutions: lose weight, drink less, spend less on clothes. . . stop kidding myself!