Diamond Strategist T-Shirts

'Keep your eye on the ball, Jake! Level swing! Rotate your hips! ... and ease up on the sunflower seeds!'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

Ideas Ahead of their Time

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

'Remember, an economic boom is usually followed by an economic kaboom,'

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

'Stand back! All he needs is an injection of long-term capital.'

'Competition is good...unless it's too good.'

'I've never seen a stock crash so hard.'

Sales Chart Through Ceiling

"Constant vigilance, regular trimming."

'Tech stocks rose on news that nerds are now considered 'hip'.'

The Invisible Hand of the Market

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

Standard And P****d.

Out of control

"If you really must know, Junior, yes, you were a market correction."

Snowflake Investments...penny stocks, junk bonds: 'Here today, gone tomorrow!'

Long and Short term investments.

"I think your going to need a business plan."

'We were in the right place at the right time but, unfortunately, we were in the wrong time zone.'

'The hard part will be writing the tutorial.'

Inflation Is Up, Interest Rates Are Going Up. . . I'm Asking You To UP Your Donation.

Currency Stimulus.

'Good news! I think we can make your portfolio quite bearable.'