Diamond Cutter Gifts

Fred had been spending too much time at the gem: "You need to get more exercise."

'Oh my God. I love it!'

'Doesn't it feel good to be taking care of our planet?'

'I told you I'd deal with your transfer request, Jenkins. Cut the deck!'

50,000 BC: The First Engagement Ring.

'You're proposing to me with, cubic zirconias?... But, you're a diamond dealer!'

' Of course I didn't just marry you for your money dear.There was also your house in France,the Rolls Royce,your mother's diamonds...'

"One slice—hold the bread."

'I see you've managed to cut your coffee consumption in half.'

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

Eye-catching Diamond rings.

"I take it this is a very special occasion."

Boxer's Hair Styles.

'This cola only has half the calories, so if I only drink half that would be no calories!'

"Don't like your present? Fine. Give it to me - I'll wear the diamond earrings."

'What did I tell you about feeding your pet beaver table scraps?'

She said she loved diamonds. So on her birthday, he took her to a baseball game.

'Due to concerns about Global Warming...I'm through with cooking.'

"You look like a million bucks to me."

'It's a high pressure job but worth it.'

The Atkins Diet.

'What happened mom? I thought you were on a low-carb diet?'

"For such a big-ticket item, you'd think they could make the tickets bigger."

'Isn't it gorgeous?! Harold refuses to tell me how much it cost him.'

'Wow...I've got to admit, Stanley...when you said you always got the best seats I thought you were just blowing smoke.'

'I'm looking for something with a lot of carrots.'

"It's one of our most popular rentals."

An oyster shows off it has a diamond instead of a pearl.

This Green and Pleasant Landfill.

'Let's not rush into this investment thing too quickly, Maude. Remember, I've still got 6 payments left on your engagement ring.'

'All finished. Just the way you like it.'

"She scares the s**t out of me, so it's gotta be really expensive."

"Marry you? I don't want to simplify my life that much!"

'That's why I put on weight! All I eat is carbs!'

In the calorie family: 'You're home early?'....'Mrs. Harrison has started dieting again!'