Dialect Explorer Pillows

"So I'm like, doesn't anyone speak proper English any more?"

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

'For those with books, open and follow along. For those with laptops, follow me on Twitter.'

Girl with smart phone enters door that says "Social Media Studies"

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Why we need poetry. . .

A is for App...B is for Blogger...C is for Celebrity.

"Miss Rogers told me I have a personal 'cloud' to store knowledge in."

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

Likes: $2.

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

"I can never understand these foreign crop circles."

Ninedency: A budding tendency

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

"Pokemon...Pokemon...Pokemon...."

Real Life/Surreal Life

Updated Classis: Alice Through the You Tube.

"Mum! - T.S. Eliot - 'Humankind cannot bear much reality'."

'There's no art to the mind's construction on Facebook, Macbeth.'

'Hey...remember T.V.?

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

"No, son, you’re not ‘M for Mature.’"

"I'm still pre-literate."

Computer games

"Teleconferencing makes it just like they're in the room with us - things are unclear and difficult to understand."

'An encyclopedia? I don't know. Let's look up what it is on Wikipedia.'