Dialect Explorer T-Shirts

"So I'm like, doesn't anyone speak proper English any more?"

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Girl with smart phone enters door that says "Social Media Studies"

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

Why we need poetry. . .

A is for App...B is for Blogger...C is for Celebrity.

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

Likes: $2.

"Miss Rogers told me I have a personal 'cloud' to store knowledge in."

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

"I can never understand these foreign crop circles."

Ninedency: A budding tendency

"Mum! - T.S. Eliot - 'Humankind cannot bear much reality'."

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

"I'm still pre-literate."

"No, son, you’re not ‘M for Mature.’"

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

Computer games

"Teleconferencing makes it just like they're in the room with us - things are unclear and difficult to understand."

'An encyclopedia? I don't know. Let's look up what it is on Wikipedia.'

"Yes, you were born into the era of passwords and user-names. . . why do you ask, Mycat_2014?"