Devout Comedian T-Shirts

"Moses, remember commandment three."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Showbiz Awards

Zombie standup

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

They're Not Just That Into It

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

'Your French dip, sir.'

Trump pardons

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

'The circle is complete!'

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

The Rooster Comedian.

No-Work Orange

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."