Detroit Devotee T-Shirts

'The prisons are overcrowded, so I'm sentencing you to twenty years in Detroit.'

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Hello. I'm Ferdinand. I'll be monitoring the levels of bull at your table this evening. Menu. Menu.

This next song goes out to the girl who stole my heart and my guitar.

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

"I love these old decorations!"

"I feel there's a whole culture around mules."

"Bonk!"

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"The waiter said he wouldn't recommend the octopus, so what do you order? The octopus."

"I'd call that 'A victory for science.'

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice a favourite, and entrusted by his master.

'Huh. Where'd all my birthday decorations go???'

Santa's Party Trick - mishap with decoration juggling.

"I told you not to polish the car too much."

"An object of love that you can get inside, totally inside."

"'Best wishes'? That's it? That's all you got?!"

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."

"We can serve a rare handburger, but because of health regulations, this room will have to be heated to 160 degrees."

"But you both can't be the 'father' of Ammonium Pentoxide Phosphate."

'We can't serve you the businessman's lunch because you don't look the business type.'

"Room for bigger presents."

'The holidays are about to be thrust upon us, Edgar, are you prepared?'

You know, Lars, you really should ask the waiter for a whine list. If it weren't for the fact that I can see the spelling in your word balloon, that insult would have gone right over my head.

"He used to be a senior fact checker at Meta — now he's just a pedant."

As years of unspoken tension surfaced, Trunky refused to raise his hand like a coward.

"You went to Barneys without me? You slut!"

"I knew Heaven would be by Chanel."

"You should have said you wanted chairs when you booked the table."

Dumocrats

Sir Edmund Hillary Arriving Home To His Third Floor Apartment

'There'll be a slight delay. The chef is cramming for his nutrition finals.'

"Presenting a Few of New York Curiosities"