Detective Novel Reader T-Shirts

'Let me through, please. I want to see if they made it look like an accident.'

Anyone who witnessed the robbery that occurred here at aprox. 11.30 pm last Friday - you didn't see nothing, right?

James Bond in a Snow Globe

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

'Listen up, Baskerville! This is MacDonald! Those hounds of yours are scaring the E-I-E-I-O out of my animals!'

'You know bank pens never work. Why didn't you write the holdup note before we left?!'

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

Sherlock Holmes with a magnifying glass.

"I know. But I think I can change him."

"It was Saturday night. The clock on my office wall showed the time to be eleven-forty-five. There are times when a private eye does not necessarily feel like being a private eye. This was one of those times. The elevator door down the hall clanked open with a clank familiar to anyone on the fourth floor who had had an office on the fourth floor for as long as I had had an office on the fourth floor. Footsteps came down the darkened hall and stopped outside my door. They were the footsteps of a

'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.'

"Homes on Holmes"

Mad Hatter's tea party.

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

"We've hit the jackpot! It's Ed Sheeran's songwriting formula."

"They've solved the cause of death of Richard III."

Mystery Writing 101 - Mailbox: The butler did it, the gardener, the chauffeur.

A spy

'It's Yorick all right - I know his DNA well.'

"I believe this is a case for Sherlock Holmes..."

'The close Ops surveillance people have just sent these photo's over and we now strongly suspect that Jimmy the Greek is onto us...'

Private detective looking very conspicuous while the suspect is saying 'He hasn't really got the hang of discreet surveillance, has he?'

"Check this wall for fingerprints."

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

"Any clues?"

'I'm a simple man really beneath the code words and the black ops and the multitude of fake passports.'

"Of course I got rid of him...in my own way."

'We're looking for a 'temp' employee to serve time in Leavenworth.'

Boss, I have a question to ask you, but I'm pretty sure I already know what your answer is going to be. Ask away, minion. Can I have a day off each week to catch up on all the "Star Wars" novels and comic books that tie into the upcoming movie? Of course, Rudy. Who am I to stand in the way of your education in the proper role of a boss and his employee? Wait ... Are you talking about the Emperor and Darth Vader? Excellent training manual, if you ignore the lame social justice warrior parts.

'I'll never forget, it was the day before Newton discovered gravity.'

"Now, see here, I've been wronged! Some no-good do-nothing rat pack got me sick, and I gotta know who!"

"I always wondered why they called you detectives, 'gum shoes'."

"Who, Big Sal? Sure, we were in cahoots years ago, but we fell out of cahoots."

"The butler did it!"

"Cut. Cut. You call this a crime scene?"