Desperate Storyteller Gifts

"NEED AGENT"

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

'Who I played in Summer Stock.'

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

"Just our luck. We finally see the 'feel good' movie of the year and it's December."

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

Social lens of the photojournalist

"Would you consider selling me the TV and movie rights to what you just told me?"

'Oh well, if greed wasn't so good, we've still got lust, gluttony, sloth, wrath, envy and pride.'

"Well, instead of discussing the book we could discuss why none of us had time to read it."

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"

'How could a man who seduced a hundred and thirty-two women find the time to write a twelve-volume memoir?'

St Paul is Shipwrecked (The Holy Bible).

Australasia.

Julian Barnes

"Do you have any advice for me? I'm writing a children's book."

"For those missing years, I refer you to my book 'Lost in Tanzania.'"

"Why am I always the bad guy?"

Claudette Melanson

Help! Author of the best-selling book, 'How to invest' - but lost it all in the stock market.

Liberty's Sacrifice

"The cow jumped over the moon? The dish ran away with the spoon? Dad... it just doesn't pass the smell test."

War reporter

"For those missing years, I refer you to my book 'Lost in Tanzania.'"

"How's the insomnia?"

'Doctor Livingston, I presume.'

'In my day, it weren't just cold - it were bleak an' all.'

"You're rambling again Dennis."

"I know it's my turn, but please continue."

'This can't be right -- it says George Bush is still President!'

'Want to bet they're more VHS tapes when we've got a Beta System?'

Kid to mom about 'Little Red Riding Hood' story: 'You know, that would make one heck of an action flick.'