Desk Dining Enthusiast Pillows

'Nothing like the workplace to inspire creativity.'

'You're taking this desk dining a bit too far, Thomson...'

"Can you not take lunch at your desk when you're in training for a competitive eating event?"

"I get a fresh food kit delivered for lunch. All I need to do is chop, cook, and enjoy!"

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

'Who gets the decaf?'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

'I'm delegating everything but my paycheck and my snazzy office to you.'

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"Anything but milk and cookies."

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

Office Ergonomics.

Am Awful Crammer.

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

"We make substitutions within reason, Madame. We can give you courgettes instead of the aubergine, but we cannot provide Jean-Louis Trintignant in place of your husband."

'I don't have enough money for a tip, but feel free to eat the leftovers!'

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.