Design Disaster Artist T-Shirts

"The feds wanted to put me in witness protection, but after they saw what you did with my website, they figured you could hide me better."

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

'This is my natural habitat.'

Rats deserting a sinking ship

"Hello?"

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

"I've fixed the shelf, darling."

'I'm making one of the craters into a birdbath.'

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

'Oh, hi!... yes, we have another emergency... make it the usual, and you know the address!'

"Wow! You've made a lovely job of those shelves in the hallway Gary!"

Spiro & Pusho painting a room.

Builders build a property that has a crease in it like the design plan.

My boat

"Can you weaken the spring or something? -- It keeps knocking my coffee over."

"... 'Do it yourself enthusiast'?... No, George is more of a, 'cock it up yourself enthusiast'!"

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"Does it have a chapter on using the phone to call someone who can do it right?"

A botched home improvement job.

'Now that you've got it running again, how do you stop it?'

'He may be a brilliant academician, but he's even dumber than the rest of us when he tries to do anything practical around the house.'

"I know I said I was hungry, but I'm not that hungry."

"The fire department ruined dinner."

'Is it still edible?'

"Feng Shwoops!"

Harry believed in having the right tool for the wrong job.

Some just ain't cut out for wind farmin'.

"It's just a hunch, but you may have the power set too high on your pressure washer."

"Well it's either my dinner or my shirt."

:Time to check out a YouTube video?"