Desert Trailblazer T-Shirts

"No, thanks, Tex - it makes me queasy just watching you."

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

The experienced backpacker.

You Are Here

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

'It's not easy being ahead of your time.'

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

"Trail mix?"

"Oh, honey, look! Just under that candy bar wrapper, next to the empty Bud Light can and to the left of the plastic bag... a salamander!"

Sport Utility Boot.

Hither and Yon sign

"Draw your own path."

"It seemed like miles to me!"

'When I was a Scout, we had to blaze trails without sticky notes.'

"Don't even think about it."

Mountain bikes and molehill bikes.

"I'll get my 10,000 steps in tonight!"

Ski Slope Rated Black Due To Wall At The Bottom

"I love the things I say when I’m in nature."

"When are you gonna roll in something?"

Woman forcing family to hike through hills.

Women in a cross country race

"I was hoping summer camp would be more ... campy."

Wherever the Trail Leads. . .

"Take a right at Rocky's fire hydrant. A left at Duke's bench and the dog part will be one block past buddy's tree."

We need to see him because there's no satellite-based system to guide us on a trip down the path to enlightenment.

'No, this is not Mel's secretary. This is Mel.'

'Y'know, this wouldn't keep happening if you learned to load your pack properly.'

"What happened to the good old Jewish holidays when all we used to do was eat?"

"Hungry? I'm ravenous, Norman, I could murder a lentil cutlet."

"Stop whimpering. Most dogs would kill for a walk like this."

Bear Signpost.

"Just to be clear, this is a hike, not a ‘walk.’"