Derby Day Dreamer Gifts

"Why anyone should look forward to a subway series is beyond me."

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

Everything opens up as a new day begins.

Football Bomb

"And, folks, if you'll take a look out the right side of the plane you'll see a cloud that looks exactly like a pirate."

Salesman on Holiday

Castaway with a tennis court.

"I thought we'd decided to go with the maple."

"I'm telling you...the more we hang-out on land, the sooner we can evolve into shark people."

"Look what I got! A 14K gold-played chain steering wheel! It only cost $169!"

'Hey! This isn't a sold-out crowd! It's just a bunch of cartoon humps symbolizing a sold-out crowd!'

Emerging from darkness to light

"You know you are only drawing this to distract yourself from getting on with something difficult."

Day Trading.

'Hey, I'm just happy to have made the practice squad of an NFL team. And if I do a good job, who knows?'

Man at the winnings collection point in the bookie's is asleep.

'It's not necessary to challenge the champ, your manager has already done that.'

Athletes' Income

'The sad part is, the kid still doesn't get why his stock has plummeted...'

'Are you the one that wanted a ball team?'

'I can't decide whether to pay my rent this month or go to the basketball game.'

And the rest is history.

'The sooner we move to a new stadium, the better!'

'Holly? Are you listening?'

Highlights from when the team didn't stink...

Beaver sees Hoover Dam: "You've got to be kidding me."

"And no drag racing until you know how this medication is going to affect you."

Jim was crazy about Fantasy Football, that is, until he discovered 'fantasy' Fantasy Football.

Gentlemen riders, who are so like professional jocks, you can hardly tell the difference!

'I know what you mean... These things used to help me concentrate. Now they just get me to normal.'

The batsman's day-dream

'There's plenty of acreage, but nobody knows how to build a baseball stadium.'