Derby Day Gifts

Derby Day (Time 11am).

On the Derby Day

Champagne speaking to lobster about going to the Derby

Preparing for the Derby. 'I say, mister, just put us up a couple of green weils, will yer? The dust is so uncommon disagreeable a-driving down to Hepsom!'

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

Go team!

The best PE teacher in the World.

'Let's give it five more minutes. If they haven't eased up on the lasers by then, we'll have to postpone the game.'

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

I like what I'm seein' out there. This could be our year Wikowski.

What is it with football and this drinking culture?

"So, Bob... anything you'd like to tell me about your little trip to the hunting store on Boxing Day?"

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

"Wait! Stop! He changed his mind."

Strive to win!

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"It's Friday the 13th. I feel lucky!"

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

'Peanuts, popcorn, steroids!'

Football supporters.

'But Mum, I've got a match after school...'

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

Woman crushed under satin sheets.

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

'Our village cricket club' - An exciting finish to a cricket match.

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

"You idiots … we lost!"