Derby Day Gifts

Derby Day (Time 11am).

On the Derby Day

Champagne speaking to lobster about going to the Derby

Preparing for the Derby. 'I say, mister, just put us up a couple of green weils, will yer? The dust is so uncommon disagreeable a-driving down to Hepsom!'

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

Bowled over again!

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

Go team!

The best PE teacher in the World.

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

'Let's give it five more minutes. If they haven't eased up on the lasers by then, we'll have to postpone the game.'

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

I like what I'm seein' out there. This could be our year Wikowski.

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

"So, Bob... anything you'd like to tell me about your little trip to the hunting store on Boxing Day?"

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

What is it with football and this drinking culture?

"Wait! Stop! He changed his mind."

Strive to win!

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

Soccer games took on a whole new meaning for the parents of Hillsdale Youth Soccer.

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

"It's Friday the 13th. I feel lucky!"

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

The first 10,000 fans got a concussion bobblehead!

'If that's my wife, pencil her in for Boxing Day.'

No Time-Outs Left. Please Help.

Football Game Tickets. These seats are so far from the field we'll need a passport to get to them!

Football supporters.

'Peanuts, popcorn, steroids!'

'But Mum, I've got a match after school...'

Woman crushed under satin sheets.