Denomination Drinker Pillows

"I haven't confirmed it personally, but I hear the Lutherans have the best coffee."

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

Happy Hour

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

"Whoa! Was that today?"

Nectar of the Gods Dispenser.

'Listen, if they didn't have alcohol in heaven, it wouldn't be heaven!'

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

"Just for once, why don't we forget the poor and blow the lot down the local tavern?"

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

Give Thanks.

"And while you're waiting for your drinks can I get you something from the bar?"

'Don't drink on an empty head.'

"I was deadwood but I'm out of a job. I guess I'm driftwood."

Paradise: Collection of wine

'It was a split decision.'

'Now that's devotion. Two broken arms and still working.'

'Single or double?'

'Sometimes I see problems and solutions with such clarity, I feel I've been infused with all the wisdom of the ages... THAT'S when I know I've had too much to drink.'

That's a salad pitchfork, Bob.

The gods drink beer while Zeus throws a thunderbolt.

'I'm having what he's having.'

"I find it difficult to like him. He's too good at being humble."

"It has a nice, divine quality without being overly liturgical."

"India ink, straight."

"Up here, we call it 'Nectar of the Gods' not 'Devil's Brew'!"

"And a bag of peanuts."

"Can't keep away, eh...?"

Beefeater cocktail