Denomination Delineator Gifts

'Sorry, wrong John we are looking for a Baptist not a Methodist.'

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

"We need to think outside the pentangle."

Mayhem, Inc. Part 2

Rosemary's Baby Supplies

'Maybe I haven't made myself clear enough. I really don't want to be disturbed today!'

"So Jesus, what denomination are you?"

Supreme Court Crunch

Robert Frost. "Two roads diverged in a yellow wood..." And that was before they had GPS's!

My belief is better than yours!

Learning to say 'no'

'Let's keep going. Maybe we'll get there in time for the net olympics.'

"Sorry, I'm John the Lutheran. The guy you want lives out in the wilderness."

"Sheldon is having a mid-life crisis. He can't decide whether to remain Reform, become Orthodox or return to Conservative."

'Pay attention, son. When you grow up to be a man, you'll have to make the same difficult decisions - to upgrade or buy new.'

'Dearest, do you smell something not burning?'

"Your boss asked our boss to have our people talk with your people."

Conscience. An angel and the devil standing on a person's shoulders. With the devil playing dirty, as you'd expect.

"I haven't confirmed it personally, but I hear the Lutherans have the best coffee."

"We had special places in hell but what with the influx of baby boomers we're putting people wherever we can."

"Hey, are you here for a divorce, too!?"

'OK, OK, quit rushing me.'

"He definitely doesn't want to see anybody."

"Most realistic decoy I've ever seen!"

The 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th baptist church buildings in a row

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"He's stressing about giving one large donation or a bunch of small ones."

High heeled woman stepping on man's feet

"Don't stand there, Bozo. I've got things to see and people to do, so let's tango or I'm outta here!"

'When I throw my voice his way and belt out, 'Right On!'...It gives me confidence I've made the right decision!'

'Of course, God is a Republican! He runs the universe just like I run my business!'

"Can we talk through a decision that I've already made?"

"He's stressing about giving one large donation or a bunch of small ones."

"OK OK I'll settle for an UNforbidden pleasure."

Citizen offering the Citizens Advice Bureau some advice