Denial Explorer T-Shirts

"There's no 'I' in denial."

"You're fired."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

"This is not what I meant when I said you needed to practice your play fighting..."

Modern Life Blues

"Wow, these e-readers take forever to burn..."

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

"I love my new texting app, it automatically selects peoples preferred pronouns."

"I hope you're not reading fake news."

Smith and Hobson: People replacing people with apps and robots since 2009.

"These feelings of yours aren't unusual - in fact, several of them have Web sites."

'I don't care what your chat group says. I say you're becoming overly dependent on technological gadgetry.'

The Eternal Question

"Don't be a dummy, Justin - You gotta learn your ABC's so you can Google stuff."

Assault weapons go over the cliff.

I don't know if neuronal stem cells can or cannot become blood cells but one thing is for sure, neuronal stem cells can become controversial.

"And for a left-handed designated hitter and a player to be named later, Mr. Steinbrenner would gladly fly Elián home."

"I thought it was deeper here."

'If this thing starts to snowball it will catch fire all across the country.'

The six stages of hard drive death and dying.

"We can address the underlying problems ... or ... you can keep your head in the sand."

Silver Sufferer - husband looking at steam trains on the internet, wife bored in background

'We now feel it's best that baby keeps her security blanket until she's old enough for a cell phone.'

At the modern antenatal class.

"I'm too lazy to chase cars. Thanks to phones, I now just track them."

"We're too late - the zombie apocalypse has beaten us to this planet."

'If someone objects to this union, tweet now or forever hold your peace...'

'Doing this with his e-mails made more impact than sending them.'