Delusion Explorer T-Shirts

"This is my last session, doc. I'm thinking it's a pretty good time to be delusional."

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

The Map of the human brain

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

Sigmund Freud.

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

X-ray Psychology.

Unguided imagery

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

The Physiciatrist...

'Tommy is in the other room playing with the triangle we bought him in Bermuda.'

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

'Look! There's a Zyzzkzkk!'

Most valuable element.

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

"Wifey! Wifey! I've found the fountain of youth!"

"I should warn you that many of John's thoughts are subliminal."

Yesterday I had an argument with the janitor of my building, and then last night I dreamed that he was chasing me with a large ball-peen hammer

"Have you tried just giving your head a shake?"

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

"Should we lick it again?" CX930226

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

"Don't step on the blacks or the nasty bogie man will get you!"

"You'll never be a full participant in your mental health care if you keep saying wacky things."

"Honey, wake up. I had that dream again where I wake up and you get angry at me for waking you up."

Psychologist is SHOCKED by what his elderly patent is telling him.

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

A dream of consequence

'There is nothing physically wrong. It needs a psychiatrist.'

''Normal' seems too much to shoot for ... but maybe I can keep you out of the nuthouse.'

"'Cogito, ergo sum' is all very well for you, but what about me?"