Demonology T-Shirts

'Dearest, do you smell something not burning?'

"We need to think outside the pentangle."

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

Orientation: Welcome to Hell

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

Meowlzebub

'What really annoys me is that they're not even my demons - they're Goya's and Hieronymus Bosch's and Brueghel's.'

I demand to see a lawyer. May I say, you've come to the right place.

Mayhem, Inc. Part 2

"I need someone well versed in the art of torture- do you know PowerPoint?"

Hellbillies.

Rosemary's Baby Supplies

"Sorry, there's no toilet paper or hand sanitizer down here."

"Oh no! - we forgot to pay the exorcist... we've been repossessed!!"

'All right. Who's in charge around here?'

Descartes's Demon

"In my spare time, I write reviews on Goodreads."

'They come down here to smoke.'

"Dad, do you believe in God?"

Dave began to suspect that he had moved next door to the neighbour from hell.

'Get me Hell, Miss Saunders. I wish to sell my soul.'

Devil Tricks

"Hey - are those scented candles???"

Excercising demons

'WHOA Look out, you idiot You almost walked under a ladder'

'Careful, this plate isn't hot.'

'Don't answer the door. It's probably Charlie Sheen.'

"Yeah but he wasn't just the devourer of souls, he also created lots of jobs!"

'Yes, I sold my soul...but what could I do? They held all the papers!'

"We had special places in hell but what with the influx of baby boomers we're putting people wherever we can."

Devil's Fireplace

Please Wait To Be Scared.

"I don't wish to be disturbed. If anyone calls, tell them I'm in the details."

'I had an overwhelming urge to be nice again. I think I need a holiday.'

'I'm afraid of heights.'